For single people everywhere, the Coronavirus pandemic has created more obstacles than normal on the path to finding a new partner. In this article, Counsellor Sarah Woodcock looks at why lockdown dating could offer benefits that might lead to a stronger, longer-lasting relationship.
Lockdown dating during a pandemic
These days there are two paths to a finding potential partner: organically through friends or colleagues, family, groups or clubs; or by using an online dating platform. Hectic lifestyles powered the growth of online dating and lockdown restrictions have made it effectively the only option for singles at present.
Lockdown dating loses the face-to-face meetings we traditionally build a relationship upon. The inability to share physical space and experiences may well put many off dating for the time being. And that is before we even consider that physical intimacy is unlikely in the near future.
However, there are benefits to lockdown dating that are worth considering, even when such restrictions are no longer in place.
What are you really looking for in a new partner?
The slower pace of dating dictated by lockdown means more time to work out a fuller picture of the partner you want. Instead of being able to arrange to meet for coffee almost immediately, lockdown dating offers the chance to consider what we are actually looking for.
Take some time to work out a fuller picture of the partner you want. Try to move beyond the ‘tall, dark and handsome’ or ‘vivacious and curvy’ fantasy personas into something deeper. For example, what qualities in mind and soul do you value in a future partner?
If you find it difficult to answer that question individually, try this technique. For a moment try to imagine your closest, most loved friends and ask: who would they hope for me to find? Someone who is caring? Trustworthy? Positive? Passionate? Discount physical qualities for now and focus on the traits and characteristics that make a person who they are.
Lockdown dating is all about talking
It is easy to be initially attracted to someone and then be swept into a new relationship. But how well do we actually know them? How often does a relationship based primarily on physical attraction stay the distance?
Once again, the slower pace of lockdown dating creates the space we need to really get to know one another. With not much else to do but talk – by text, email or video call – it is likely that a couple will learn more about each other than if they were able to jump straight to physical intimacy.
Take advantage of this time to find out what their hopes and dreams are for the future? What are they passionate about? How does their view of the world reflect your own? Physical attraction is, of course, important, but it is just one aspect of what makes a relationship special.
Counselling and support from the relationship experts
Whether you are struggling to find a partner, are having doubts or need support exiting a relationship, The Spark is here to help. Our team of relationship counsellors are experts in their field and available to work with clients individually or as part of couples counselling.
We offer telephone and online video counselling services for individuals and couples. To find out more, visit The Spark website or freephone 0808 802 0050 during our opening hours and speak to a member of the team.