COUPLES + INDIVIDUALS
Tips for Moving into Marriage
Be patient with each other’s families.
Try to have patience with each other’s families. However, remember to stick up for yourself and each other if necessary.
Always check with each other, “Is this argument worth it?”
Weddings are family events as well as a couple’s ‘Big Day’. There will be the inevitable disagreements about the wedding arrangements just remember the context. Always check with each other, “Is this argument worth it?”
Remember why you’re meant for one another.
What is it that made your fiancé/fiancée ‘The One’? Take time out to talk about those special qualities and moments, and keep making more.
Dream about your future together.
Explore your dreams for the future. What do you want from your life a year from now; in five years; in ten?
Develop a budget plan.
Getting married is expensive. Stress is difficult to avoid when one of you is more anxious about spending money than the other. Negotiating and creating a workable plan about how you will manage your money can help avoid many arguments.
Use your backgrounds to guide your new family’s future.
Talk to each other about your family backgrounds, about what you liked and what you hated. Treasure the elements that you love; dump any unhappy patterns of behaviour. Work out together how you’d like your new family as a married couple to be.
Consider what will change after you tie the knot.
If you have been living together what, if anything, will be different?
Challenge yourselves to complete the following:
“When I am married I will be …… When you are married you will be …… When we are married we will be ……”
What do these answers mean for you both?
You might recognise the saying, “A woman needs to feel loved to make love and a man needs to make love to feel loved.” Having children, dealing with long working hours, and experiencing stress can all affect sexual intimacy. If you keep talking, kissing, hugging, and touching one another, sex will take care of itself.
Take time away from wedding chat.
If you get the chance, go on a pre-marriage course. No matter what, take time out from the wedding plans and talk about you, your hopes, your fears, and your expectations about your marriage.